oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
