People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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