You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Come share oat with me in your robe
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
