im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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