Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
