Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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