they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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