haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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