He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
