Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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