This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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