Tell her she can't have a vagina
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize