My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Too much gin, very little bucket
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And then he peed in my hair
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
