Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
