butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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