Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
