I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
A+ Viking dick
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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