you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
how drunk are you?
Several
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
