For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
