I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
