so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
