so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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