I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize