Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
