Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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