i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
