no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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