Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
