I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
