If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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