You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
