I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
