I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
