can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize