This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
