I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize