take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
