you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
