I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
