a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize