...so i touched it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
