Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize