this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We are two peas in an std pod
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize