I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My ass is underappreciated
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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