so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
