Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize