One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
