She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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