epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
