Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize