are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
