So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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