Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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