I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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