my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
